Undiagnosed But Something Ain’t Right Leatherette Morale Patch – Velcro-Backed Mystery Malady

Undiagnosed But Something Ain’t Right Leatherette Morale Patch – Velcro-Backed Mystery Malady

Product Description:

Docs can’t name it, but your guts know the truth—this Undiagnosed But Something Ain’t Right Morale Patch is the badge for the mentally and medically  mysterious. Blasted into scorched tan leatherette, “UNDIAGNOSED” looms like a death sentence, followed by the redneck revelation “BUT SOMETHING AIN’T RIGHT” in cracked saloon font. For the walking wounded who’ve been told “it’s all in your head” one too many times.

Key Features:

• Material: Pain-weathered distressed leatherette—smells like hospital bleach and denial
• Size: 3” x 2” (7.6 x 5 cm) – rectangular, fits on your pill bottle or your “I told you so” tombstone
• Design: Gothic medical disclaimer, debossed so deep it triggers your phantom limb
• Backing: Velcro hooks that cling like chronic fatigue—rip it off and reopen old wounds
• Color: Jaundice-tinted tan with funeral-black etching that mutters “see you at the ER… again”

Perfect For:

• Velcro-ready pill organizers, hospital gowns, or the dashboard of your mobility scooter
• Range bags, work vests, or “I’m not lazy, I’m buffering” morale boards
• Gifting to Lyme warriors, fibro fighters, or anyone whose WebMD history could crash the server

Tests came back negative. Symptoms came back pissed.

Care Instructions: Swallow with whiskey. Avoid actual doctors.

Hand-etched for the undiagnosed and the unhinged in tiny, symptomatic batches.